Before and After Marriage
Posted on 05:31, under Hilarious Jokes, Husband Vs Wife, Jokes, Marriage Humor
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BEFORE: You take my breath away.
AFTER: I feel like I'm suffocating.
BEFORE: She says she loves the way I take control of the situation.
AFTER: She called me a controlling, manipulative egomaniac.
BEFORE: He makes me feel like a million dollars.
AFTER: If I had a dime for every stupid thing he's done...
BEFORE: The Sound of Music.
AFTER: The Sound of Silence.
BEFORE: It's like I'm in a dream.
AFTER: It's like he's in a dorm.
BEFORE: We agree on everything!
AFTER: Doesn't she have a mind of her own?
BEFORE: Charming and Noble.
AFTER: Chernobyl.
BEFORE: Ideal.
AFTER: Idle.
BEFORE: I love a woman with curves.
AFTER: I never said you were fat.
BEFORE: He's completely lost without me.
AFTER: Why won't he ever ask for directions?
BEFORE: Time stood still.
AFTER: This relationship is going nowhere.
BEFORE: Blind.
AFTER: Nearsighted.
BEFORE: You look so seductive in black.
AFTER: Your clothes are so depressing.
BEFORE: I can hardly believe we found each other.
AFTER: I can't believe I ended up with someone like you.
AFTER: I feel like I'm suffocating.
BEFORE: She says she loves the way I take control of the situation.
AFTER: She called me a controlling, manipulative egomaniac.
BEFORE: He makes me feel like a million dollars.
AFTER: If I had a dime for every stupid thing he's done...
BEFORE: The Sound of Music.
AFTER: The Sound of Silence.
BEFORE: It's like I'm in a dream.
AFTER: It's like he's in a dorm.
BEFORE: We agree on everything!
AFTER: Doesn't she have a mind of her own?
BEFORE: Charming and Noble.
AFTER: Chernobyl.
BEFORE: Ideal.
AFTER: Idle.
BEFORE: I love a woman with curves.
AFTER: I never said you were fat.
BEFORE: He's completely lost without me.
AFTER: Why won't he ever ask for directions?
BEFORE: Time stood still.
AFTER: This relationship is going nowhere.
BEFORE: Blind.
AFTER: Nearsighted.
BEFORE: You look so seductive in black.
AFTER: Your clothes are so depressing.
BEFORE: I can hardly believe we found each other.
AFTER: I can't believe I ended up with someone like you.